Poet Vaudevillian
Carlo Parcelli


88 Monologues - The story God & Mel Gibson don't want you to hear!  Historical, profane, blasphemous, comedic and vulgar

Stand-up Tragedy -  Shakespeare in the Lounge!!

"In the classical argots of:  Petronius,  Rabelais,  Chaucer,  Shakespeare,
Lenny Bruce,  Guy Ritchie,  James Joyce,  David Jones

"a keyboard calliope played by a Lenny Bruce on stinkweed"


Beat Poetry
                        Festival - CT -2017

Poet Vaudevillian
Carlo Parcelli
Beat Poet Laureate
of Maryland 2017 - 2019

National 2017
 Beat Poetry Festival

Sept 1,2,3

Noelke Gallery
Fri Sept 1 - 7pm-10pm
15 Water St. Torrington CT
Licia & Mason Beekley Library
Sat Sept 2 - 2pm-5pm
10 Central Ave, New Hartford CT

Noelke Gallery
Sun Sept 3 - 2pm-5pm
15 Water St. Torrington CT

                          Anthology 2017
available from
Local Gems Poetry Press

                          Festival 2015 - CT - USA
National Beat Poetry
Festival 2015 - CT
Colin Haskins &
Yvon Cormier

LitMore Fundraiser
Litmore Poetry Fundraiser
Baltimore, Maryland
   June 13, 2015
David Jones - Poet Artist - Optima Goreu
David Jones Poet / Artist
Conference 2012
Reading with a
musical reponse by the
Perry Conticchio Quartet
W.A.U./Takoma Park, MD

Boog City 8 
Boog City 8

Poets Theater:
Fracture of the Word
 Fracturing the Stage

9 Poets curated by Magus Magnus
Sidewalk Cafe, New York

Bowery Poetry Club
Bowery Arts &

August 4th, 2014
The Gospel According
to Simon Kananaios:

A Meditation on Empire
New York, NY

                            on the Road - DC & Maryland

David Meltzer, Michael Rothenberg,   pianist & composer Burnett Thompson with members of The New Columbia Orchestra. Guest readers: Terri Carrion,
 Sarah Browning, Carlo Parcelli,
 and Brian Gilmore.

Rockpile - November 1, 2009
The Writerís Center, Bethesda, MD

Forthcoming in 2017 - Be-At - Anthology of the new Beat Poets Laureate

Busboys & Poets
-  Host  -
ďMature Voices - open mic"
Howard Zinn Room
Busboys & Poets
Hyattsville, MD
                            New Word Issue 6
Austin Poetry Festival Anthology
Anthology 2017
Austin International
Poetry Festival


order through
Amazon or Country Valley Press
"So's the boys at the pub ask,
if he's resurrect, where the fuck is he?"


Poet Vaudevillian
Carlo Parcelli
(performances or readings available)
The Canaanite Gospel
A Meditation on Empire
88 Monologues

Country Valley Press / FlashPoint
ISBN 978-0-9820196-2-7      $11.95

What actually transpired Easter Week/Passover 33 A.D.?
The Resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth was a Hoax!

      Culled from First Century Texts and drawn from dozens of biblical and secular sources, these monologues tell a revisionist tale of what transpired in Judea, Easter Week/Passover 33 AD and beyond during the reign of the Roman Emperor Tiberius.

      In the classical argots of Petronius, Rabelais, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Lenny Bruce, Guy Ritchie, James Joyce, David Jones, Cockney and the world's myriad cryptolects, The Canaanite Gospel strips bare the New Testament canard of the Resurrection of Yeshu of Nazareth and pokes a stick in the eye of the Synoptic Gospels.

Video Selections:

Full Performances Available
A full performance/reading of 12 to 14 monologues
runs approximately 80 minutes with a 10 minute break.

For performances Mr. Parcelli appears in full 1st Century A.D. costume.

The Canaanite Gospel is intended for ADULTS ONLY!!!

The Canaanite Gospel is comprised of 88 monologues with 64 different characters.
Actors or Directors interested in performing or staging any of this material should contact

  Carlo Parcelli at 301-927-8323 or email: alphavillebooks@verizon.net

A selection of early text versions of 40 of the dramatic monologues:

Audio of six of the monologues:

Mr. Parcelli's pieces have appeared in:

Guns and Ammo  *   IHOP Dinner Mats  *   Ted Haggard's Sunday Bible Class  *   the Naval Defense Annual  *   Christian Pole Dancers' Weekly  *   the Watchtower  *   the Rostock Freitag  *   the National Review  *   the Smut Locker  *   the Ypsilanti Courier  *   Liberty University's Commencement Brochure  *   Dog Whistle Diaries  *   Soppy Tart  *   Pipe Fitters Manual SE-1467: Addendum C  *   Kitty Kuplets  *   the Vatican Bank Newsletter  *   Russell Simmon's Fashion Poetry Street Slam and FlashPoint Magazine.    In 1995 Mr. Parcelli's epic romp through the secular eschatology of Western epistemology  *   'Deconstructing the Demiurge: Tale of the Tribe  *  ' was "deemed unfit for human consumption" by Poetry Magazine  *   Conjunctions  *   The Antioch Review  *   the Parcelli Family Christmas Newsletter  *   Poet Lore  *   the Blotto Lotus  *   Prairie Schooner  *   Bleeding Ulcer and the FDA News Letter.

From the Canaanite Gospel:

[A]nd as for Simon, knew me a lot a Simons 
But I don't truck wif no thug Simons.
                         --- Martha

And as Virgil casts the same by Cumae cooze,
        Ain't I the literate fuckin' guinea hopes to read in me palm 
Mugshots a Tibi on silver stamp
   Me little cuntie magpies bein' attracted to shiny objects.
                         --- Oranius 

I prosper as me people, just as we are.
           What cast out Saul is timely to me.
Who to slay his ten thousands and how to proceed.
                   No bloody timeless fiction a good will
When none's to ground.
                        --- Jesus Barabbas

Power arrests indulgence
              So best indulge 
In the torments power affords. 
        And such prissy disposed 
Can suck teardrops from me cock
        As close to ichor be they get.		
		--- Tiberius Julius Caesar Augustus

And I be, 'go yourfuckin'self, mister. 
            Do I the looks a Samson. 
Work one your stunts
                 Wif pulleys and levers
'Stead all day be winchin' up lady Magda's skirts.'
                        --- Johanna Chusa

So I beg your pardon, I knows where me knifes been and me mouf
           And how bofe got there by the laws.		   
		                --- Simon Kananaios

Me eldest son, Ace, I heard
           Was killed at the edge a the world
Not a full year in the ranks,
                   Head stoved in by a naked blue man
Wif his pecker hangin' out
                   Or that's the tellin'.
		--- Gaviolus

What of us to credit publicans and fishmongers
          Over rule and the law;
A corpse a some vagabond
          What promised deliverance
And can't even keep his own.
                       --- Safiya

And he, "Bitch if ye knew the gift 
                      What say a thee water
           Thou wouldn' balk 
But straigtway be wet about thy well." 
               And ta gall says I, "Sir, 'pears thou has little 
                     Ta draw wif and this well be deep."
	    --- Nalda, the Samaritan Woman

If I tell you me doubt was warrant
         How will I be fed?
If I tell you Yeshua was me twin
         How will you say he does not live in me?
		               --- Juda Didymus Thomas

No mistake. I loved him dear. But 
      Not our addled rebbi to this purpose
         As what I have set in motion.
		               --- Mary Magdala 

The Canaanite Gospel © 2010

For more info or to schedule a performance
contact:  Carlo Parcelli at 301-927-8323
email:  alphavillebooks@verizon.net

Mr. Parcelli is a founding editor of:

FlashPoint: A Literary Journal of the Arts and Politics