historical, profane, blasphemous, comedic and vulgar
- Shakespeare in the Lounge!!
the classical argots of:
this One Apostle
Boog City 8 as part of Poets Theater
Complete Info and
What actually transpired Easter
Week/Passover 33 A.D.?
Culled from First Century Texts and drawn from dozens of biblical and secular sources, these monologues tell a revisionist tale of what transpired in Judea, Easter Week/Passover 33 AD and beyond during the reign of the Roman Emperor Tiberius.
In the classical argots of Petronius, Rabelais, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Lenny Bruce, Guy Ritchie, James Joyce, David Jones, Cockney and the world's myriad cryptolects, The Canaanite Gospel strips bare the New Testament canard of the Resurrection of Yeshu of Nazareth and pokes a stick in the eye of the Synoptic Gospels.
A full performance/reading of 12 to 14 monologues
runs approximately 80 minutes with a 10 minute break.
For more info or to schedule
contact Carlo Parcelli at 301-927-8323
or email: email@example.com
NOTE: For performances Mr. Parcelli appears in full 1st Century A.D. costume.
The Canaanite Gospel is comprised of 88
monologues with 64 different characters.
A selection of early text versions of 40
Audio of six of the monologues can be
Guns and Ammo * IHOP Dinner Mats * Ted Haggard's Sunday Bible Class * the Naval Defense Annual * Christian Pole Dancers' Weekly * the Watchtower * the Rostock Freitag * the National Review * the Smut Locker * the Ypsilanti Courier * Liberty University's Commencement Brochure * Dog Whistle Diaries * Soppy Tart * Pipe Fitters Manual SE-1467: Addendum C * Kitty Kuplets * the Vatican Bank Newsletter * Russell Simmon's Fashion Poetry Street Slam and FlashPoint Magazine. In 1995 Mr. Parcelli's epic romp through the secular eschatology of Western epistemology * 'Deconstructing the Demiurge: Tale of the Tribe * ' was "deemed unfit for human consumption" by Poetry Magazine * Conjunctions * The Antioch Review * the Parcelli Family Christmas Newsletter * Poet Lore * the Blotto Lotus * Prairie Schooner * Bleeding Ulcer and the FDA News Letter.
From the Canaanite Gospel: [A]nd as for Simon, knew me a lot a Simons But I don't truck wif no thug Simons. --- Martha And as Virgil casts the same by Cumae cooze, Ain't I the literate fuckin' guinea hopes to read in me palm Mugshots a Tibi on silver stamp Me little cuntie magpies bein' attracted to shiny objects. --- Oranius I prosper as me people, just as we are. What cast out Saul is timely to me. Who to slay his ten thousands and how to proceed. No bloody timeless fiction a good will When none's to ground. --- Jesus Barabbas Power arrests indulgence So best indulge In the torments power affords. And such prissy disposed Can suck teardrops from me cock As close to ichor be they get. --- Tiberius Julius Caesar Augustus And I be, 'go yourfuckin'self, mister. Do I the looks a Samson. Work one your stunts Wif pulleys and levers 'Stead all day be winchin' up lady Magda's skirts.' --- Johanna Chusa So I beg your pardon, I knows where me knifes been and me mouf And how bofe got there by the laws. --- Simon Kananaios Me eldest son, Ace, I heard Was killed at the edge a the world Not a full year in the ranks, Head stoved in by a naked blue man Wif his pecker hangin' out Or that's the tellin'. --- Gaviolus What of us to credit publicans and fishmongers Over rule and the law; A corpse a some vagabond What promised deliverance And can't even keep his own. --- Safiya And he, "Bitch if ye knew the gift What say a thee water Thou wouldn' balk But straigtway be wet about thy well." And ta gall says I, "Sir, 'pears thou has little Ta draw wif and this well be deep." --- Nalda, the Samaritan Woman If I tell you me doubt was warrant How will I be fed? If I tell you Yeshua was me twin How will you say he does not live in me? --- Juda Didymus Thomas No mistake. I loved him dear. But Not our addled rebbi to this purpose As what I have set in motion. --- Mary Magdala
The Canaanite Gospel © 2010
more info or to schedule a performance
Mr. Parcelli is a founding editor of:
FlashPoint: A Literary Journal of the Arts and